Tuesday, April 24, 2012

41 "Life Hacks" from 4chan

Got the list from Reddit, but it's actually from 4chan (I will show the source next post). I've excluded items that may not be applied to the Philippines, but I've retained all the funny and interesting stuff. I'll leave it up to you to heed #28 and sort through the bullshit.

1. Buy stuff in bulk instead of buying it at a vending machine or news stand. You save money.

2. If you have an iPhone, jailbreak it and tether it to your laptop instead of paying 80 bucks for high speed wireless.

3. Instead of driving or paying to own a car, ride a bike. You'll save money on insurance, repairs, and gas. The bike will let you exercise while you're going places and you'll save time by not having to go to the gym.

4. If you want to go to the gym, go swimming instead. You burn more calories that way.

5. Invest in solar panels. The price for them has come down.

6. Date older women who have more experience. They have more money and are less likely to leave.

7. If you need to cheat on your girlfriend, come up with a fake nickname and use your middle name as your last name (in case you DO have an encounter with you and her and your real GF). Use a fake email, and a fake phone number (yes, cheating is expensive if you do not want to get caught, think Dexter on Showtime).

8. If you want to get a girl that is out of your league or super hot, pretend to be Mormon or Christian or any kind of hard to follow religion and go to church and meet women there. You can later be less religious and the woman is less likely to leave you.

9. Eat more complex carbs and proteins instead of starchy foods and ramen. You'll have more energy during the day and can function better.

10. If you have trouble reading books, get audiobooks instead and play them at 4 times their speed on your iPhone or iPod or while swimming (get a waterproof kit).

11. Do ab exercises during the day even while you're at work. Just flex them throughout the day and you'll be ripped much faster.

12. When buying something, think of whether you'll still have it in 4 years. You'll save money that way.

13. Read 4chan's message boards for threads like this and suck up as much info as you can.

14. Look for porn on boards like 4chan instead of having to look for it for hours. People usually post the best they've already discovered.

15. Never be afraid to ask. One answered question can avoid hours of searching.

16. Buy DVDs in bulk and burn all your files to them. It never hurts to have a backup.

17. Never buy movies. Download them from torrents. Same with music.

18. Go to parties if you're hungry. You could live off just party food without having to buy anything yourself.

19. If it's too much effort or takes too much time, there is an easier way.

20. Wear boxers. Wearing briefs makes your balls not produce as much sperm and you can run into all kinds of problems.

21. If you're circumsized, pull on your skin frequently to extend the nerves you have lost when you got cut. If you're uncircumsized, wash your penis frequently.

22. Brush your teeth at least twice a day. Some toothpaste brands have long lasting protection that will keep you from having decay for 12 hours. Get an electric toothbrush. Electric toothbrushes are at least twice as effective as regular brushing, if not more.

23. Cats are stress relievers. If you own one, you'll have lower levels of stress (I personally don't care for pets).

24. Consider a different point of view before making a decision. Pretend you're a different person like say... Tyler Durden and his significant other. You'll get more shit done that way and know what you'll really want.

25. If you can build it at home or prepare it, why buy it?

26. "The things you own end up owning you." Don't be afraid to throw out something you don't really need. Do a yard sale or sell stuff on eBay. If no one is buying it, it's time to give it away or just throw it out.

27. Eventually everything is going to be done by robots. Don't work at a job where you're not happy nor doing what you want. In the future, a robot or software program will replace you anyway (I'm serious). Study hard to become a doctor or artist to create things or do things no one else can do.

28. Even though 4chan is aggressive, 4chan is very knowledgeable and is like 40,000 minds put together. Ask honest opinions and you'll get them 33% of the time. Sort through bullshit.

29. Experiment with technology to become more knowledgeable. For example, get a screw driver and open any electronic device in the house, just to see how it works. It never hurts to have a general idea. Put them back together afterwards. I once fixed my USB hub on my monitor just by opening it up and soldering a loose connection back together. Saved me about 400 bucks.

30. Never invest in cheap stocks. Invest in companies that are doing well, like Apple and Google or Starbucks.

31. Eat lots of fish, vegetables, chicken, whole grains. Look at the package before you buy it. Eating too many calories will make you fat and slow you down. Figure out how the food pyramid works and stock your fridge and storage accordingly.

32. Don't have too many female friends. Women cost money. Have one good female friend, but keep track on how much you are spending on her. If you spend too much, it's time to dump her. Be straightforward and tell her she's too expensive to be around. Hold your ground and be assertive, you ruin your own life.

33. Don't be pushed around anywhere, get a third opinion. If someone is tricking you into signing a contract or buying something, see through it and stop right there and ask for a copy of the contract. Read everything before you buy.

34. Never make yourself look like a fool. Make controlled moves around people. More chicks will dig you if you're confident and know what you want.

35. To win at rock paper scissors, before actually playing show some subliminal moves that they think you are going to make i.e. keep clenching your fist, open your palm, etc. to make them think you're going to throw rock/paper. Women throw scissors the most. Men throw rock the most. When shaking the fist for the count, do so first and hard. This makes them hesitant and they play the same moves over again.

36. Bacteria that cause tooth decay, acne, tuberculosis, and leprosy can be cured with cashews.

37. If you cut a "V" shape into your toe nails, you can prevent "in-grown" toe nails.

38. Here's a little psychology trick, it's called anchoring mental states. You want to make a girl smile? Try this out. Once you start talking to a girl and you have her in a conversation try to notice her breathing pattern. Try and inhale and exhale at the same time she does (don't make it obvious, and it takes some practice). Next, wiggle your left hand fingers anytime she smiles while you are talking to her. Eventually, you will have anchored her smile and her mental state to the wiggling of your fingers. Every time you wiggle she will return to that mental state. NOTE: You don't have to use wiggling. You can pretty much use any subtle move. Try using the left side of your body though. ALSO, if you have the balls, instead of creating an anchor with your own body, use hers. Touch her left shoulder every time she smiles or laughs.

39. If you're given a cocktail napkin or coaster with excessive condensation, sprinkle salt on it. It will cease to lift up with your drink.

40. If you park your car somewhere where you think it may get stolen, remove something small but vital, like the fuse for the fuel pump.

41. Use packing peanuts when setting mice traps. Don't use peanut butter or cheese, they will attract other rodents/insects. But mice need house supplies.


There are tons more, more than enough for a follow up. What's your favorite so far?

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